She hides concern behind jokes and teasing.

She’s really concerned, despite the jokes she told around the Weyr. Honestly, she felt more like a failure than anything. One Turn passed and nothing happened, Zuvaleyuth did not glow. Not even the slightest bit and she insisted that she was fine. They told her to be patient and that she would soon. But soon never came and she was tempted to see the dragonhealers.

That, however, would only prove her failure. A new gold in the Weyr who couldn’t clutch and it was just her luck. She waited, the months turned to another Turn and she felt the slap of reality hit her. Her gold was probably infertile.

She joked on it often with the hope that it wasn’t true. The more sarcastic she got, the better she dealt with it until the end of the day where she would reflect upon their situation. Were they going to go down in Fort history as one of the few who were shelled unable to fly and lay clutches? Were they never going to experience flights? Of course, she had other ways but Zuvaleyuth? She was a different story with flights being something to further the development of the species. It is what golds did and to not experience that?

Well, she wasn’t normally a bleeding heart, but she was when it came to her lifemate. She felt so saddened for her.

Two Turns passed into three and she was forced to face reality. And then Neyuni gave her the knot. The Senior’s knot, in which she took as a joke because there was no way that her lifemate would ever fly. So, she would be the dutiful Junior and play Senior until one of the other golds rose to mate.

The next gold to rise was Zuvaleyuth.

She was fine, even after the flight and waking up beside Th’ero. She couldn’t help but tease him, an odd reaction she had to stress. It made her feel more at ease. Maybe she shouldn’t have made that comment about his manhood, but it was too good to resist as she had pulled on his pants. It was all for fun, to keep her fragile hold on her composure from snapping. But he pointed out her knot and the weight was too much to bear.

She broke. She fled. And she did the one thing she promised herself that she would never EVER do.

She abandoned her Weyr.

She became a coward.