Green House

« They are all dead. » There's powerful sorrow in Kainaesyth's mind as the pair land on the ledge that was their's. It didn't even occur to either of them that someone else might have moved in during their turns of exile away from the weyr. It was their ledge, plants and all.

But at some time during the two turns those plants have died, rotted in their pots, and are now sad echos of their former selves. Kainaesyth nudges the pots gently, and sweeps his tail against the dirty floor. « We will have to make more. » He's calm in the face of this newness, though there's an itch under his skin that even the firm grip of winter cannot drag from him.

For himself Ha'ze settles lightly on the stone next to his bronze lifemate, boots heavy against the unfamiliar surface after the long turns of living in the rough hut upon Drake's lake. He'd found a peace there, and some of those demons which had bitten into his soul had been banished. Most visible of his changes are the beard that scratches upon his chin, allowed to grow long out of simple necessity. He hadn't had a mirror, and hadn't felt like asking Jajen to get one imported for him.

"I'm not sure what I expected." Even his voice sounds rough in the echoing darkness of the stone cave.

Warm wind pushes through the canyon, lapping up the sides idly, before dropping downwards again. « It is our home. The lake… it was just a place we had to be for a bit. But now,» And the speeds of those winds pick up, the smell of jasmine filling the air with it's sweet fragrance, « we can journey gain! »

Balling his fist Ha'ze punches Kainaesyth's side, a warm familiarity in the gesture. "Aye, and get you some more stories. I'm starting to get a little bored of hearing the same ones over and over again." That gets a splash of water from the river's rapids, but Kainaesyth is amused. He too, is tired of telling the same stories over and over again. The turns have weighted heavily upon him, though he had done his best to keep his impatience at bay.

The winter lethargy is there, telling in the gray edges of KAinaesyth's hide. But there is freedom just around the corner. All they must do is step out of the ledge, spread their wings, and take the trips between. They could go anywhere now, free of confinement. Maybe, and the thought comes slyly, Ha'ze could find another lover.

Sly as it might have been the thought of a woman again (that wasn't likely to try to cut his balls off, hi Jajen, or paid for) brings a smile to his lips until a required memory plasters itself back in place. Kainaesyth senses the shift in Ha'ze's thoughts and inquies with an unspoken, « ?? ».

"Abigail. I haven't spoken to her in… Since she came. And the twins. They'd be… almost four now. I haven't seen them in over two turns." Jaze he'd played with weekly, almost daily. It had taken some doing, for Jajen to forgive him and let him spend time with his daughter alone again, but it had happened. He'd taught her how to tie her shoe, and the use of a fork. She had a laugh unlike her sharp mother's, free and happy. He was her wild father, the man with the scraggly beard and kind bronze who always allowed her to climb all over him, and had no problem talking right to her. (shh. I'm bending canon, sue me.)

« You must see your little ones before we go. » Kainaesyth senses more than the words Ha'ze says, and his deep love for the younglings overrides his desire to see something new.

"They probably don't even remember me." Ha'ze had shut that part of his mind off, that section devoted to his two younger (okay, by 5 days), children. It was easier to just not think of them. Tiny Aleoa with her dark hair and dark eyes, and chunky Galeon who had held his sister's hand even when they were babies. How was he going to explain being gone to them? 'Your father is a bad man that couldn't follow the rules, so he got sent away, but now I'm back!'

Except… was he really back? Staring at the stone and dead plants there's a disconnect in Ha'ze's heart. This place wasn't home. It was cold, and alien. Like it belonged to someone else. Another life completely. Kainaesyth's heart longed to wander and Ha'ze finds himself in resonance with that. He'd been forced to stay at Drake's Lake by the iron will of Jajen's dragon and Th'ero's order. Never again - Never again did he want to be tied to a place, not free to wander.

But how does one explain that to a four year old, that doesn't understand that Ha'ze is just…. like that? Jaze had understood that sometimes her daddy just didn't want to be found, and that when he disappeared for sevens at a time it wasn't because he didn't love her, but because he needed the space. (Hard stuff for a not-quite four year old.) When he came back he still loved her!

But Aleoa? Galeon? All they would understand is that their father left them, and never game back. No matter of notes on their birthday would make an impact on children that young. And he wouldn't — couldn't stay. Not the way a normal father would. Some of the old bitterness settles into Ha'ze's chest, too thick to be blown away by Kainaesyth's comforting winds.

"I won't let us get tied down like that again - whatever it takes Kai… whatever it takes." Even it meant breaking the hearts of his children, never again. "Let's get you some new plants, aye?" Even in winter, there should be something that could grow here to give Kai some green.

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