C'rus and Jaicoureth's Weyr
After his conversation Th’ero and Kimmila C’rus had gone and found his dragon and explained to him the specifics of what their future looked like for the foreseeable future. After C’rus finished explaining to the blue, Jaicoureth could only come up with one question «Are you disappointed?»
“No.” C’rus replies quickly enough. “It was an odd conversation, but I’m not upset with the end result. I just wish…” he trails off as he tries to find the words, “I just wish they wouldn’t look at me so funny sometimes. They take everything I say the wrong way. I mean I get why they do, but it hurts.” He’d told Th’ero as much, “They want me to support everyone else, and that’s all well and good. But where are the people lining up to support me?”
Jaicoureth can feel the struggle inside of his rider and he would love to relieve it, but there isn’t anything he can really do beyond share in the feeling, «I know what it’s like to not be understood. They may never understand, but we aren’t responsible for what they understand and don’t understand. I’m different from my brothers, and the others. I don’t think the same way.» he says stating the obvious, «I thought there was something wrong with me but there isn’t. I am just me. I don’t have to be like my brothers if I’m not like them. And neither do you have to be like the others if you aren’t like them.»
C’rus has had this conversation with his lifemate before, and while his blue’s understanding has grown, he has remained stuck in a great many respects, “It’s not the same. They don’t like me. They like you…and I’m glad they do.”
«My dear boy you have many friends. Br’enn is your friend, and so is Rynn. Thys also cares about you and so do Ha’ze and R’yal. And let’s not forget about Kera. She loves you. She’s told you so and I see it when she looks at you. You must trust me. I see it.» The dragon asserts with certainty, «They would do anything within their power for you. Why don’t you see it?»
C’rus just shakes his head. For all his strong opinions and beliefs there is a confidence lacking on the inside that he has never been able to find, “I don’t know. Look I know what you are saying is true, but I don’t feel it sometimes. I just want one person to see things the way I do.”
The dragon inhales a deep breath before reaching out to enfold his rider in the love that he has inside of him. This is his gift and he knows that deep inside his rider has the same gift, but won’t let it out as much as he should, «My dear boy. I see exactly the way you do. I am on your side always. I am sorry they disturbed your peace of mind, but even if they misunderstand you. I do not.»
C’rus can only lean against his lifemate’s side and just rest in the peace that he has the ability to bring, even if the clarity he desires is not where he would like it to be, “I know you don’t. It’s just really really hard sometimes. I feel that everyone else gets the support they need but I get told to suck it up. It isn’t fair. No one cares if what they do offends me. Why should I care one bit if what I think offends them?”
«Because you are a good person. Even if they don’t see it. I see it. Kera sees it. Your friends see it. You do care. You care so much about all of them. Even the people that have hurt you. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you fight with yourself about how you feel, but it’s there all the same. And for the far more practical reason that you can’t hope to convince someone of the rightness of your cause if you are at the same time offending them.» As sentimental and emotional as the dragon may be, he isn’t completely devoid of understanding of life in the practical sense.
C’rus gives his head a slight shake as he considers what his lifemate has said, “You are right.” The dragon is nearly always right. He can’t deny the thought that he put into it. The man just sighs, “I just feel so stuck sometimes. Like nothing is ever going to change.”
Jaicoureth shuffles on his feet a bit. This conversation is just going to round and round in circles so long as it continues like this. He knows C’rus so well and knows that he just needs to get out and do something. Sitting on his hands like this will just cause him to turn his mood sour, «Come with me. Please. Lets go to the barracks. Let’s make an ending. Start over and begin anew.»
Fort Weyr - Training Complex
The remnants of a historic collapse are apparent here, as the slope face of the bowl has a predominant downward curvature. It's likely long ago, that a cavern larger than any Fort currently has was where the training complex currently is. A probable cave in triggered a fissure on the bowl wall which lead to a great chunk of it dislodging, thus creating the rounded slope.
Yet, many centuries later, all that remains to give evidence is the pocket made into the bowl wall. It seems that the inhabitants of Fort Weyr have made best of the created space. Rock on the ground proper has long since cleared, but pebbles and loose shale are constantly underfoot. Still, the sprig of some green leafed vegetation isn't too out of the ordinary in these parts, as long as it doesn't get trampled by the comings and goings.
It's clear that this area has been designated for the training of young minds, whether human or dragon. Surrounded by rock on all side, it's like a personal weyr bowl for the youngsters to minimize distraction and danger. The candidate barracks have been built across from the Weyrling barracks, so that one group can educate the next. Finally, placed in the centre of the two entrances of the opposing barracks, near the rock face, is a statue with a memorial plaque.
C’rus wouldn’t deny his dragon the wish and he can feel the warm gentle pull inside of him. So he does what any good rider does. He climbs on his dragon’s neck and soon the pair are soaring above Fort. In short order they land upon the training grounds and C’rus dismounts quickly enough, “So why did you want to come here?”
Jaicoureth pushes a gentle wave of love outward toward his rider and beyond. Toward all this place. The barracks are really the only home he has ever known, «To say goodbye.» He answers softly as he slips away from him toward the entrance to the entrance of his old home. Upon poking his head in and seeing it empty he lowers himself to the ground and mentally reaches out to each and every one of his clutchsiblings, and begins to sing «It started off as a vision. Created out of love. It started with a strong foundation. We just worked our way up.» Using C’rus’s mind as a base he projects pictures of them all when they were so very much smaller than they are now to go along with his words, « And it read just like a story, where we all provided words» And as he sings the image shifts to Ha’ze and Kai reading a story together before that too dissolves « And those words have many meanings. That you’ve said and I have heard.» Here he sends out an image of one of the many moments when he and Tovi spent time chatting together. «I have seen so many faces. I have heard so many songs. I have watched as passion battled with demons. Trying to find where you belonged.» Here the thoughts and images turn to a montage of moments he’s had with his beloved rider. «It’s the ending of an era. But for all that I have seen. Tonight I close this first chapter. Ignited by a dream.» The notes are light and gentle, barely there. For this moment his voice is enough.
«This is where we became a family. And each voice lights my heart, and though it kills me now to say goodbye I know a new journey must start.» Here in rapid succession images of Rhenesath, Livanyth, Mazz, Zeruth, and Cie fly by before dissolving into something akin to a family portrait of all of them standing there together. «I must trust my own decisions, though right now its hard to do. How to leave a single note behind, an important piece of you.» The image of his family fades replaced by an image of an empty, and to his mind sad barracks. «Yes it’s the ending of an era. But for all that I have seen. Tonight I close this first chapter. Ignited by a dream. » The music swells, and modulates, becoming faster. The gentle thrumming of the strings provide the soundtrack of his swirling emotions.
«And here is where we leave…» He lifts himself from his stomach and exits the barracks, a swirl of emotions pulsing outward from him along with the music «This last turn behind. A million lifetimes of memories concluding here tonight.» Jaicoureth unfurls his wings and with a few quick motions up and down raises himself off of the ground. The image he projects to his siblings is now one of light gently spreading out from his heart to touch each and every one of them as the swell of the music begins to slowly fade becoming soft and gentle, but with a certain quiet intensity he continues as he pictures each of his brothers and sisters individually for a moment, reaching out with as much love as he has inside of himself «But if you ever start to wonder. Where your path will one day lead. There is one thing you must promise. That this path ignites your dream! And right now I close my chapter. The ending of an era. So go and write your stories! Ignited by dream!» The last note quavers and is lost to the night as he ceases reaching out to his siblings and lowers himself to the ground looking over to C’rus, «It’s over.» he says both softly and sadly.
C’rus had simply listened to his lifemate’s song. He never ceases to marvel at the creativity and the kindness that reside within Jaicoureth’s heart. He is wonderful. He strides over to him and lays a hand on his shoulder, “Jai. It’s alright to be sad. Endings are hard. But we will have a wonderful new adventure. We’ll help people and so many wonderful things will happen.” And because he knows it’s most important to his blue, “And we’ll always have love. Always. You’ll see.”
The blue leans down to touch his nose to his riders forhead, «I know. Let’s go to the lake. I want to see the moonlight on the water. Next time I see Moncerath I want to sing for her. A song about love.» The dragon pulls away from him as he waddles off through the training yard toward the northern bowl. «We were all so little here. Just babies.» He says holding onto that image in his mind, and almost in passing he adds, «I’d like to have kids.»
C’rus follows after his blue, listening to all that he has to say and his step hitches, only for a moment, when he talks about wanting children. One dream that will not come true for him so he lets it pass. No need to ruin the moment, “Ok. We’ll go.”
(Ignited by a dream by Scott Alan. A lovely rendition may be found: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma6qH92hE4Q)