Fort Weyr - Council Chambers
A large table, spacious enough to seat all of the Weyrleaders of Pern simultaneously, takes up the majority of the space in this room. Comfortable chairs are placed at regular intervals around the highly polished table, and writing materials have been laid out at each place in preparation for the next meeting. Along the walls are a series of sideboard tables, meant to hold food and drink for longer conference sessions.

A few days have passed since the attacks, and things have calmed down a little bit. This afternoon, the lunch rush is over and there is a bit of a lull while most Candidates switch their chores. That's when a runner was sent to tell Therynn that her presence was requested in the council chambers. When she arrives, it's just Kimmila, the bluerider sipping a mug of klah and eating a cookie.

Therynn is feeling a little better after being checked out with a relatively clean bill of health from the Infirmary. It is said she's healing up quite nicely, and that in only a few more days inhalations should be much less painful. Ok, so maybe it'll take a few fortnights for her bald spot to even out, but that is coverable. A shiny salve glistens from below left eye in hopes of dissipating the yellow-purple below it. The trek to the council chambers took some time, but finally Rynn has made it. A *knock* on the door and she's pushing her way in. "Kimm?" she calls out while entering.

Kimmila glances up with a little smile. "Therynn. Don't let Nyalle hear you calling me Kimm, she'll go off about protocol. Come on in, close the door. Get a drink or something if you want." She gestures to the side table where there are a few drinks and some food.

Therynn clears her throat and straightens up "Yes ma'am.. Kimmila.. apologies.." No disrespect meant, a nod for following protocol. One leg is still a little achy, the one that was pinned beneath deadweight of renegade, and so her stride is not as smooth as usual. Entering with less than agile paces she closes the door behind her, grabs a glass of water and hobbles over to take a seat. Slow and pained movements have her settling in to the chair across from the blue rider. "Thank you. Not much an appetite so water will do. You wanted to speak with me?"

Kimmila waves a hand. "I'm fine with it, just saying don't let Nyalle catch you." She waits until the huntress Candidate has settled before she smiles a little bit and leans back in her seat. "So. You and I both had to kill that night. YOu doing okay with that?" It's gently asked, Kimmila's own feelings about it mixed.

Therynn stores that advice in the brain logs an nods again. "Sure thing.." is said softly, acquiescence blanketing her words. There's something strangely timid about the huntress right now. Definitely a bit out of character for one who'd been typically fearless in the past. Kimmila is a dead ringer with what she says next, lids flutter and hazel eyes quickly become misty "I.." she swallows hard "Have never done anything like that before." Tears are choked back a deep breath helping the urge subside. "I mean animals are one thing. Even that took some getting used to, but this isn't the same… doesn't feel the same." Wether or not she's doing ok with that is questionable.

Kimmila pulls out a handkerchief and passes it over, nodding. "It's okay to cry," she says gently. "Talk to me."

Therynn's lower lip quivers and when handkerchief is passed it makes it seems as if she only needed permission before a few heartfelt sobs escape. "It's just, that person will never have a chance to become something better than the scum they were. What if he had a family?" Tears begin to stream and are quickly wiped away with 'kerchief as if ashamed of the weakness and vulnerability pouring from her eyes. "His eyes haunt me at night, I try to shake it, but I've had nightmares of being pinned beneath his limp body, blood pooling beneath us. I.. we.. that was so stupid of us to wander from camp." The sniveling cannot be suppressed at the moment, no matter how strong she wishes to be.

Kimmila nods. "It was," she agrees softly. She can't very well say it wasn't! "But it's in the past. And he made his choices. It was you or him, Therynn. You shouldn't feel guilty for protecting yourself and your fellow Candidates. He made his choices and he paid for them."

Therynn head wobbles all teary eyed and chokes back the next whimper that tries to escape. "That is a good way to think of it Kimmila. M'glad it wasn't me, or any of us." The waterworks begin to slow, even though handkerchief is pretty soaked already. For a tiny one she sure can cry. Probably because it is not something she does often. "Do you think the heartache will go away? I've never thought about what it would be like to take another's life, and even if rotten to the core I guess my heart still goes out to em and wishes we coulda saved them or something." A sniffle before stating "I've known more than one Rennie turned a new leaf.."

Kimmila sips her klah, nodding a bit. "I'm extremely glad it wasn't any of you," she says quietly. "The heartache? Yes. But Therynn…it wasn't your responsibility to save him. He didn't turn a new leaf. He decided to attack Candidates." Her voice hardens a bit. "You can't beat yourself up over the what ifs. The fact is he attacked a Candidate and he paid for it."

Therynn lets out a sigh, brows knitting in the center as Kimmila's words are mulled over like a fine wine. "I know. I guess I just wish things could've been handled differently. That we hadn't ended up in that situation to begin with, that no one got hurt.." shoulders slump as she looks in to her water glass. "Maybe even that renegades just didn't exist all together." Hanging head is propped up and she can't help but wonder "Why do you think there's bad people who do bad things like that? Can't we all just live in some semblance of peace and harmony?" Another sigh and the cloud above her head is slowly dissipating. "Thanks for talking with me about this stuff.. it really helps to get it out."

Kimmila nods. "I know you do and I know others do too, but…it happened. You can't change the past." As for bad people…Kimmila chuckles. "Because not everyone agrees on everything. Some people think power is unfairly balanced. Some people think they deserve more from the world. And think they are allowed to just take it. I don't know, Therynn…"

Therynn pushes out a less than glum smile, apple of cheeks displaying a faint rosy hue. "I am not looking forward to what Th'ero and Nyalle will have to say about the whole thing." There is clear appreciation for the rider's tact at handling the present situation. Therynn is in a fragile place, strong-willed but shaken, her first chuckle in a few days is let out. "Ain't that the truth.." she agrees about not everyone agreeing on everything. "Sucha strange Pern we live in.. so many perplexing wonders punctuated by the trials and tribulations of our lives. I am truly grateful for you taking time out of your day to talk to me about this Kimm.. ila." She tries to get in the habit sooner rather than later.

Kimmila shrugs her good shoulder. "It was an accident. Some poor decisions were made, yes, but you didn't /ask/ to be attacked." She sips her klah again with a soft sigh. "Of course, Therynn. I thought you might need someoen to talk to. I know I did, the first time I killed someone."
Therynn winces taking note of the rider's one shoulder shrug "Are you hurt bad? Are Th'ero and D'ani ok?" So many questions and so much to ponder. "It was a silly mistake. We should've known better.. I should've known better, but I didn't want to let the group wander out alone and it didn't seem there was any chance of talking some out of the idea." Not to mention any names… *ehemmHAZELON!* What she says next has right brow arched ever so quizzically "Y'mean.. you've had t'take a life before?"

Kimmila shakes her head. "Five stitches, I'm fine. Th'ero's fine, D'ani will be fine." The bluerider then nods. "Yes. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes it's them or you, or them or someone you love. They made their choice. Nothing you can do at that point."

Therynn closes her eyes, the up and down motion of her head and big final sigh for this conversation really solidifying the guidance provided by the bluerider. "Well, all in all m'glad you guys found us in time and that they didn't get Hazelon. I don't even want to imagine the torture he would've endured." A big gulp finishes the water in glass, still holding it between her hands when it is returned to table top. "When it's life or death, choosing life is definitely the logical route. I never thought I'd be so sensitive 'bout something like that." A little scoff "Then again I never thought I'd face something like that."

Kimmila exhales softly. A bit shakily. She nods. "I am very glad Ustrr didn't get Hazelon," she murmurs. "His death would…not have been an easy one." Of that she is certain. And as much as she's told Therynn that past it past…she's haunted by those possibilities. "It's not being sensitive, Therynn. It's a normal reaction. Don't feel guilty about it. It's going to take time for you to sort through it."

Therynn notices the wavering tone in Kimmila's voice, and with the way she speaks of Hazelon it makes her wonder the depth of connection behind her words. "We were very lucky.. losing any one of us would've been heart wrenching for the Weyr as a whole. M'glad that didn't happen." The comforting reassurance has her whole essence softening. "You are so very right.." glass is swirled around a little despite it being empty "This chat has really helped start the process of sorting through things. I really wasn't even sure where to begin."

Kimmila nods, letting out a long breath. "Yes." She'll leave it at that. No Candidates were lost. "Good. I'm glad it has, Therynn. Give yourself time. It'll take a while."

Therynn can't help but wonder "Do you think we'll be in a lot of trouble when Th'ero recovers? Like removed from Candidacy or something?" Rynn's never faced a reprimand before so she isn't quite sure what to expect.

Kimmila looks startled. "Removed from Candidacy? Shards, no. Why would we get /fewer/ Candidates?" What a stupid punishment. "No, nothing like that. Probably some extra chores, that sort of thing. You'll be shadowing the riders these last few weeks, seeing what being a rider is truly like, day to day. Spending time with the wings. It'll be hard work but…no one's getting licked out."

Therynn shrugs and winces from doing so. She isn't really sure how this whole bureaucracy thing works, but imagined the worst "Guess that would be silly.." The side of one lip quirks to a smile "More chores are totally manageable.. hardwork could be m'middle name.." If Pernese had middle names. She's relieved to hear there's no chance to being kicked out for the incident and asks "Are we paired with just one rider? Or shadow a few?" This idea really excites Rynn as first hand experiences have been few and far between up to this point.

Kimmila shakes her head. "Neither. You all get passed around so you meet lots of different riders in lots of different wings. Well. All the wings. Gives you experience, and if you impress, then you've got a better understanding of what wing does what, and where you might best fit."

Therynn snickers at the notion of Candidates being passed around like a bottle of booze or something. Not that Therynn is thinking about booze. Nope, definitely absolutely not thinking about tasty libations in the spring time. The smooth bubbliness, sweet fruitiness, frothy brewness. Oh yeah! Back to reality! She's in the council chambers, wearing a white knot, talking to Kimmila. Snap out of it Rynn! Though a drink or seven would totally help her sort through some things. "Gotcha.. that'll be very useful. Impression or not, it'll probably help t'take my mind off of that night too.. really looking forward to it." Eyes and smile are much brighter than before.

Kimmila nods, "Exactly. That's the idea." She smiles and finishes her klah, pushing to her feet. "I need to get out on my sweeps, but if you need to talk, you come find me okay? And if you can't sleep, go see the Healers. They have teas that will soothe your mind and let you relax."

Therynn moves to stand soon after Kimmila does, head bowing slowly as she does so in hopes of not straining tight muscles too much. Hazel eyes will look up to meet her jade and honey orbits when she straightens. "Yes Kimmila. Will do, on all accounts, and thank you again. I am feeling quite a bit better already." She will leave space for the rider to depart first, following not far behind her and heading back to the barracks to finish up some chores.