| Who | Alexa and Tiridyn |
| What | One deceptively simple question triggers a cascade of distractions during Alexa's lunch break, courtesy of not-caped-but-still-possibly-minorly-heroic Tiridyn. |
| When | Late Spring, 2728 |
| Where | Fort Weyr - Galleries |
Disclaimer: Adult language. Feelz.
Fort Weyr - Galleries
The galleries are carved right out of the rock face, the rows and rows of benches rising high up into the air on a slight slant. Stone and wood benches that used to be known for offering little in the way of comfort, are now padded with cushions in Fort Weyr's colors. Placed along the railing at regular intervals are antique looking baskets filled with cheery fabric flowers. The curving walls sport tapestries in warm vibrant colors that seem to add a dash of color to the otherwise dreary stone. Where the galleries curve slightly at the ends, affording those attending hatchings or clutchings a decent view of the sands, shaded laterns offer warm lighting along the rows of benches.
Alexa would never say the clutch is boring. Those are Raaneth's (and Azirath's) babies! They're unique and special and individual and… really don't do anything besides sit on the sand and get warm. But still. She has far too much loyalty to say the clutch is boring. One can read what they'd like into the fact that she's felt the need to bring legit paperwork out here with her. And the need to actually do that paperwork. Even as the day heads toward noon — and Alexa gives yet another wistful sigh toward the door, perhaps wishing the sun would set a little faster so as to hurry this day toward an end — here she is, squinting and scrutinizing and scratching notes onto papers that move slowly from one stack to another.
NEVER FEAR, ALEXA! TIRIDYN IS HERE! True, he is no cape-wearing, masked hero, but he does come ambling in, dressed neatly in work-worthy clothes and his white knot, carrying a tray of very promising looking distraction in the way of lunch. Dark eyes scan the benches and once they land on their quarry, he's moving in her direction. "Ready for a break?" He asks as he nears, lips tipping into a slight smile, many degrees less warm and sunny than his usual, but the touch of darkness under his eyes might be an indication of just why that is. He might even realize because the edges curl a bit more with a little effort. "It's no pajama pants and ice cream, but it's a pita full of vegetables they made cool and crisp." And something resembling falafel. "And chilled juice." He probably came as quickly as he could to keep everything cool, though the spring day outside the confines of this very hot cavern probably helped his cause.
Tiri is better than a cape-wearing masked hero! Those types tend to bring doom and destruction, but Tiri is bringing food! And, almost better, a reason for Alexa to stop working (even if it's not so bad). "Shards yes," comes in enthusiastic answer to that 'ready for a break' and, without a second thought, the pen goes behind an ear and the one stack of papers gets unceremoniously tossed on top of the other stack of papers and the whole thing gets shoved into a bag which gets shoved under or behind or over a seat. It's fine. She'll sort it later. But even as Alexa is making 'break-preparation' moves, there's a little tip of her head as she sort of studies Tiri in all his not-quite-as-sunny, dark-circled glory. But she smiles brightly for the description, a grateful, "That sounds amazing," given as she accepts the tray and finagles a way to make it balance on something without putting it in danger of falling over, a slice of veggie pulled from the pita to crunch on as she goes. "Right now, I'll take cool veggies and juice over ice cream, even if ice cream does sound amazing." A beat and she notes, "you look tired," in a casual sort of way.
Listen, listen, listen. Tiri is not dying a little on the inside as the stacks of paperwork are so callously clumped together and— okay, maybe he is a little, but that's not his priority, and besides, Alexa was-is-was a Harper and he probably knows the bit in her history about libraries, given what a devoted user he is of the library here at Fort, and elsewhere~ So, the point is, his eyes might get a little big as he watches the work Now Alexa is assigning Future Alexa, but ultimately, he trusts her to deal with it in her own Future Alexa way. He just waits, handing over the tray when she's ready and possibly hovering just a little to make sure she can get it balanced without the loss of all the provender to the doom of floor food. It means he's just straightening when she makes that casual sort of remark. "I can always go on a special assignment someday to bring you some," with an appropriate chaperone, of course. In anyone else, this might be kissing up; for Tiridyn, this is just one aspect of many of his job: procurer of that which is sought. If it's ice cream, he'll have to bear it somehow. The offer is genuine though there's a trace of lightness through the words that implies some humorous things about abusing using a weyrwoman's powers for Ice Cream, not Evil and so on. His expression shifts to something more serious in the next beat as he hesitates and then with a twist-and-settle, claims himself a place to sit beside her, fingers interlacing and hands settling on a knee as he gets those limbs dropped one over the other. It's almost a casual sort of pose, appropriate to answering her casual sort of question. "This experience hasn't been what I thought it would be." For all the many, many turns he denied dreaming of it and even the exceptionally few where he didn't deny dreaming of it.
Future Alexa will probably have some very Not Nice Things to Say about Now Alexa. But that's Future Alexa's problem, and Now Alexa can't be bothered. She's far too hungry to worry about papers. "I'll keep that in mind," is drawled with amusement for the Ice Cream Mission that is undoubtedly in Tiridyn's future now (and hey, Alexa already takes a few liberties with her knot; assigning candidates to go get her ice cream — especially when they offered! — is hardly the worst way one could abuse such power). But right now, the pita is perfect, ravenous eyes on the prize even as she listens to Tiri. A bite is claimed as Tiri takes his seat, eyebrows lofted though words will have to wait until she's finished chewing and swallowing. "That bad?" she wonders, only a little teasing in her tone, as she cants her head to the side and eyes him curiously. And then there's a little, aborted-sort of laugh that doesn't really mean to be rude, but might be perceived that way, even if all Alexa means by it is, "wasn't for me, either." Even if her reason is probably vastly different. "What did you think it would be?"
Tiridyn is, perhaps politely, looking out at the sands, at Raaneth and her (and Azirath's) eggs; so the goldrider may proceed to demolish her delicious pita at whatever pace she desires without an audience heeding her manners or lack thereof. Not that Tiri would judge anyway, even if he might comment on a day he wasn't quite so lacking in sunshine. That sunshine, whatever he's mustered, seems to be fading by the moment, but that might be whatever's going on in his head and not so much the innocuous remarks and questions from the goldrider. His upper teeth press on lower lip, rolling it in to become trapped for a moment as he begins an audible breath through it, loosing it with a little pop - like that dream bursting like a soap bubble breathed on a little too hard. His hands shift, letting go of one another and coming to his sides to grip the bench. "I think it's a little less the actual candidate things and more the circumstances surrounding them." He cants his head a little, shooting a single sidelong glance at Alexa as he asks, quietly and not quite casually enough, "Has D'ax mentioned anything to you about my standing?" Rumor did put them together after all and for slightly more than two turns. Possibly, probably, he will come back to her mention of her own being not what she thought, but he doesn't remark on it just yet, though no doubt the bond that offers (on top of the ice cream~) helps to let him go here, especially in so relatively public a place as the galleries. But then, the watchers skipping or bringing lunch to be here now are mostly occupied with each other, the eggs, and no one seems to be paying much attention to the relatively quiet conversation ongoing here.
Alexa will devour that pita like it's going out of style, but somehow has managed to cultivate a technique that does not result in a giant mess in the process. Probably a lot of working-lunches in her past (and present, and future). She manages to slow it down a bit, if just to make conversation possible, once the gnawing bite of hunger has been sated. A curious "oh?" comes in the wake of his clarification, though Alexa won't press on that either, allowing another bite to bring silence in which Tiri can talk, or not, as he sees fit. The casual inquiry pale brows lofting once again, a slant of green eyes statement enough that she might be connecting the two to come to her own conclusions. "We don't really talk," she admits, plucking another veggie from between the bread. "Did something happen? Like…" but she doesn't quite know how to finish that, so she just shrugs and takes another bite.
This response does what it needs to do. It clues the candidate into just what has (or in this case, has not) been said. Tiridyn's brows might flex at the admission because who wouldn't want to talk with D'ax~ but he doesn't comment on it. He's generally fairly perceptive, even if he has a distinctly D'ax-shaped blind spot, but possibly he's not completely delusional about how D'ax can come across to others. He rocks a little forward and then back before he answers slowly, though not exactly hesitantly, just navigating something new. "He's not happy about my standing." He's probably aware that given D'ax's participation in the clutch on the sands and therefore his involvement with the goldrider with whom he doesn't apparently talk is something that he should try not to be clumsy about. Quietly, a confession: "I want this. I… I need this, Alexa." He turns his face to look at her with dark eyes subtly imploring her understanding. Maybe he hasn't been met with that much in recent days. "I… didn't think I'd have to trade everything I had to have the chance." It is sort of the deal, right? But that's not quite how he means it. He might, even, regret having said that last bit, given the way he worries on his lower lip now.
The rest of the pita will be eaten in pieces; small slivers of veggies plucked and eaten in slow, distracted bites. A little frown plays over Alexa's face, but she spends a moment considering her pita and which bite she wants next, rather than the man beside her. Even if she is definitely listening. "I'm sorry," comes earnestly, and with a little, sympathetic smile tugging at her lips. Because it sounds like it sucks, and Alexa can well imagine that it does, even if she's never been there herself. Putting the rest of her unfinished lunch aside, she leans back in her spot, feet kicked up onto the back of the bench in front of her. "Is that what happened?" she wonders, the question asked with a measure of gentleness in her quest for understanding. "Did he… like… did you guys break up because of it?" Did they break up at all? Alexa does not keep up with the gossip (and even if she did, she'd probably err on the side of caution on this one and let Tiridyn tell her, rather than assuming things.
He's really trying for circumspect here, more or less, while still being honest with this woman who might be or might yet be called a friend to him, but the flinch at the words 'break up' is telling and not nearly as subtle as circumspection requires. He grimaces, a once-rare expression now finding itself present more often than once a turn, there and gone. "It might be what's happening." This, at least, means Tiridyn hasn't given up. He sighs a little, hands coming up to rub across his face for a moment before he twists on the bench to angle himself more toward Alexa, looking earnest, looking wounded, looking lost. "I know why people who are married aren't allowed to stand, and it makes sense." And he and D'ax aren't that, aren't even close to that. The words come faster, come less filtered and more raw. "I don't understand why it can't be that he's my everything but I'm still missing something. That this… This," he makes a gesture toward the eggs, "is what's missing. I don't know if it will still feel like something is missing in me, for me, with my life," he tries to make sense of it as he goes, "if I don't impress. I probably won't. A dragon didn't even ask me." Not that that actually matters, but in his jumbled head clearly it does. "But I feel less like I'm missing something essential every experience I have with this. I don't know. Maybe it feels like a rite of passage I almost missed out on. Maybe I just want my mom to see me stand on the sands on hatching day, even if she might not remember I'm out there, maybe I just— I don't know." And here he fizzles, deflates, looks defeated. "I hate that I don't have words enough to explain why I need this. Why it matters that one of those minds gave me gifts I don't think I could ever have gotten from anywhere or anyone else." His hands have clenched, unbeknownst to him, knuckles turning white, until he opens them to bring them up to rub at cheeks gone flushed. With equal earnestness, he adds, "Sorry." Because he didn't mean to spill all that right here, to her. But maybe it's just been building up for too long. Maybe it was bound to happen. Maybe Alexa seems safe.
Alexa blows out a breath, as if it was her that just expended all that verbal and emotional energy. "It's okay," she says, and she really means it, even if it might take her a bit to sort through all of that and figure out what, if anything, she's meant to comment on. And if she should comment on it at all. "I don't think that's why they have that rule," is the first thing she says and, truly, in the scheme of things, is probably the least helpful and least significant part of it all. "I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting this," she adds, heading toward the meat of the matter. "I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting more than what you've got, even if what you've got is… everything. And maybe it's not even… this-" handwave at the eggs "- that you're missing so much as… I dunno. The chance? And I mean, I'm sure Da'x is great," she says, somehow managing to do it with a straight face even, "but he's a person. And like… Okay, so I can't say I know what you're feeling cause I've never had anything like that, but Raaneth is my everything. My everything-everything. People can't compare. But I can still love people. I still love my kids," for all that she's basically absent from their lives. It's complicated. "I'm probably doing this all wrong but really what I'm trying to say is that it makes sense to me, Tiri. And… I'm sorry he's being a dick." Beat. "But you know… breaking up doesn't mean it's like… over-over, right? You can get back together." Right?
He almost definitely does not mean to murmur, "I think that's what worries him." 'Worries' is the gentlest way he could've put what it actually appears to do to D'ax. Maybe he, himself, didn't quite frame it that way before, but hearing it from the goldrider does seem to make that slot firmly into place. Not, notably, that they could get back together, but rather that a person's dragon can, so readily become their everything everything. Tiridyn is looking at the eggs when he says it, his expression slightly distant, troubled in his own right. Maybe he has some deep thinking thoughts about all that, but he pulls his mind from teetering on the brink of all those new-and-already-experienced rabbit holes, visible in the way he shakes his head very slightly, but with a sharp movement, before pulling his eyes away from the eggs and to Alexa again. The smile he gives her is small, but felt. "You're doing it great." He seems to mean that too. Maybe he didn't know what he needed until Alexa provided (at least some part of) it. He doesn't address the idea of breaking up, of getting back together, because maybe it's too frightening an idea given that the breaking up piece would have to be some kind of real first and maybe he just can't let it be even if it probably is~. So what he does focus on is the rest, the parts still intimately involved but less head-on than his actual relationship status. "I used to be sure I'd get asked, you know? By a dragon. I mean, my mom's a rider, and I love Fort." He loves Fort. It's there in his eyes, a deep and abiding love that is pride to be from here, that is dedication and commitment that might be far bigger than even his everything. Please don't ask him what he would do if D'ax transferred; he's already having a rough enough time with all these impossible and emotionally fraught thoughts. "I work hard and I serve my home and the people in it the best I can. So I just… I mean, you grow up here and you think it'll just happen sometime. Maybe that's conceited." He knows it doesn't happen for some, not like that. "I almost— I thought maybe even that Azirath would ask me," there's an affection for the dragon that's evident in the way he says that, a touch of humor at his own zany ideas. "So standing…. I don't know, it almost completes things somehow? It's what I was waiting for before I decided what else I really wanted to do with my life, with my career path. I didn't want to rise too high too fast because if I had too much responsibility, I might feel like I couldn't, like I'd put in too much to take the chance." It's been a holding pattern, albeit one he loves, for turns now. His hands come up to scrub across his face again. "Sorry," again. This time for, "I'm talking too much." And pointedly, he looks at Alexa, abashed, "You said your candidacy wasn't what you expected?" It's an invitation with genuine interest and curiosity behind it for her to stroll down memory lane with him along for the ride. It'd be a great distraction!
There is so very much there, and some of it tugs at Alexa's own hidden parts; those insecurities and wistful wishes that stay tucked away where only Raaneth gets to see them. But her, "It's fine," is genuine enough. "You talk just enough." Because she really doesn't mind, at all. "Sometimes you think it'll happen and it doesn't, and sometimes you don't think it'll happen but it does." Whether she's talking about Search or eggs or love or anything, really, because she's just trying to help even if she's not sure what she can say. "And sometimes, you think it'll happen and then it does happen and it's nothing like you thought it would be." And, if there is a touch of resignation to her tone, well. It is what it is. There's a little shrug as she says, "If it's right for you, it's right for you. And it sounds like it's right for you, if it's… completing the circle." She'll even helpfully draw a circle in the air with her index finger for emphasis. But for all that she is trying, there are some things she just can't relate to. The gut-wrenching need for another human is one of them. His deep-seated love and pride for Fort is another. Fort is only one in a long-line of places that Alexa has called 'home' (or at least, stayed for a spell), so try as she does to understand, she doesn't quite get it completely. And so maybe that's why she laughs, just a bit, a little self-deprecatingly, a little awkwardly, when he asks about her own experience. "Yeah, but it was nothing so dramatic. Honestly can't compare," she forewarns, lest she inadvertently lead him to believe she's about to embark on a grand tale of heartache and unmet expectation. "I was sixteen when I was Searched. I thought it was going to be a fantastic adventure. Alek and I had these stupid delusions about Impressing and flying off to parts unknown. Turns out it was just a whole lotta work and then a whole lotta responsibility."
Really, all of this must have done more than just something right for Tiridyn since he manages to look properly aghast by the end of Alexa's story. It is purposeful when the younger man directs his eyes over toward Raaneth - though surely he can only see her out of the very corner given how he's sitting more toward her rider - and then brings them back to Alexa. "Work and responsibility," YOU DON'T SAY~~~ Listen, it's worthy of a laugh, or a shove or something, but at least it seems to have alleviated some of his clouds, for the moment. He won't keep it up though, expression relaxing into something softer, something understanding. "Was it? A fantastic adventure? Looking back?" HAS IT BEEN? That's not a deep or loaded question at all~ Maybe he feels, though, having dumped so much relative intimacy on her in the past fifteen minutes that asking isn't over some line. "I'm…. I'm really sure that it is." He sounds a little apologetic about that, but not to her, rider of the clutchmom. "This is where I need to be. It's what I need to be doing. Even if I never ride. It's important to me that I be here, doing this." He frowns a little, because what he has to trade to do it surely still seems unfair and hard. He looks back to her from where his gaze has drifted. "Maybe this will all be a funny story to tell by next turn." He doesn't quite sound like he believes it, but he's trying to rally here. "Something we'll laugh about over ice cream, in our pajama pants."
Alexa's eyeroll is something straight out of those teenaged-turns, even if she's smiling when it comes. "Yeah, yeah," she says, reaching over to offer a friendly little shoulder shove with her hand even if it's half-hearted at best. "I was young and dumb," she reminds, even if one could readily make the argument that she is still young and dumb, just maybe not as young or as dumb. "And I mean. That's a whole lotta more responsibility than I was anticipating." Even if she was kind of anticipating some responsibility. But there is, and will always be, that overwhelming adoration for her dragon; the kind that makes her eyes go soft and her smile go sappy in a way she's not quite aware of as she turns a glance on the gold. "I think the adventure came after," she decides, once she's had a moment to consider it. "Candidacy was just the prequel, and it really oversold itself, but… since then, yeah. I guess it's been an adventure. Even if it wasn't the one I thought I was going on." The last is dryly added with another little roll of her eyes, this time for Past Alexa and her foolish ways. She goes quiet again, foot jiggling in a thoughtful way, head tipped so she can keep an eye on Tiri and an eye on Raaneth with little effort either way. "If it's important to you, then it's important. That's all that really matters, right? You go on this adventure, you see what happens, and no matter what you come out with a story to tell. And who knows, maybe we will," she agrees, for laughing and ice cream and pajama-parties. "And maybe you'll Impress and that'll start the next adventure and I'll have to wait a little longer for that ice cream. I mean, if nothing else, I think you'd regret not doing this, right? So, you gotta do it." Not that he needs her approval or anything, but, "I think you're doing the right thing."
"Maybe the best adventures are the ones we don't see coming." Tiridyn probably wants to believe this after the turn of recent events. "I didn't see D'ax coming when I threw a snowball at some guard I didn't know." There's a faint, sweet smile for that bit of nostalgia. Nevermind it almost got him punched. It's fiiiiine. The rest takes a moment in coming, possibly turning over his friend's words, letting them have weight for what they convey and also because they're hers, and she, unlike so many, is taking the time. There's a slow nod. "Yeah. I just—" have to think a minute how to put it. "I wish I could do this without hurting him. I wish I could get him to understand." He grimaces a little, then is turning his head a little, tilting it. Quietly, "Go easy on him?" Because he knows Alexa is Fierce and Mighty. "It never looks like it," except when he's mad, of course, "but I know this isn't easy for him." Regardless of how D'ax feels about Tiri's candidacy and Tiri in general right now, it seems that Tiri is still, stubbornly, sure that he's worth this kind of consideration and care. "Maybe I will impress." Softly now, "I can't imagine a dragon that would be right for me that couldn't-" He's loathed to add the next word, but does because it's practical, "-eventually understand what he means to me, for me." Nevermind that these things happen all the time~ A deep breath later and he's sighing out the control he does not have of all that. "Thanks, Alexa. Really." He reaches over a hand to cover one of hers in a brief, felt squeeze. "I really needed this." He doesn't get up, not yet, but there's a sense that's coming as he adds. "If I can ever return the favor…?" She'll let him know, yeah? "I should get back to the kitchen before Dezeri," who must be supervising the candidates this shift, "gets it in her head to say I'm skipping out just to see me there more often." It's a joke, mostly. He is usually good company, if just for the source of sunshine, a source looking slightly, if not wholly, renewed now. Maybe he'll sleep better tonight.
"I will try to be nice," says Alexa, with all the long-winded suffering of one who is being supremely put-upon. Even if there's a twitch of amusement in the corner of her mouth, and a bit of mischief in her eyes. For Tiri she will try to play nice. Or at least, not go out of her way to not be nice. "If a dragon picks you," she declares, with all the authority of one who knows nothing of these things except that she happened to be pick by one, "it will be perfect for you, and if being perfect for you requires that it understand how important he is and love him too, well… Then I guess that's that." There's a squeeze in return, and a smile that has far less mischief than it does just simple warmth, because Tiri is allowed to have that. To be a friend. As he starts making the 'getting read to go' moves, she'll kick her feet down from the bench in front of her, lean forward and haul out her bag o' paperwork. "I will absolutely hold you to that promise of ice cream," she declares, for returning the favor. "And also, if whats-her-face-" (Tiri literally just said her name) "-gives you a hard time, lemme know. I'll totally write you a note or something." Like a doctor's excuse, except it's from a weyrwoman! Totally not an abuse of power or anything… "Have a good day, Tiri!" will be offered as she finally has to deal with now-Past Alexa's decision to just… shove all the paper in a bag. "Son of a—"
Ghaliya on her way to go beat up D'ax.